for Better or Worse
by defineLOVELESS
Summary: Life is full of unexpected twists. The sad and painful past she tried to forget had once again surfaced. The past robbed her of her ability to trust, but more importantly, love. Moving on and changing, is it for better or worse? Is love painful? NxM
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! I am back after a month's hiatus. I came up with lotsa ideas for stories, but I only wrote one. Heh.  
Anyway, now I am back, I will be editing all my previous stories, finishing them before actually uploading them.**

**This is my new story's first chapter and I have high hopes for this story (:**

**I want to and plan to finish this story, so comment and rate about your opinion on this chapter. :3**

**-Elaine.**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN GAKUEN ALICE AND IT'S CHARACTERS.**

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Chap 1:

_**the Lost Forever** ._

by  
**DefineL0v3**

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_.._

**[[ Present, 14****th**** February 2009 ]]**

.

..

The small box on the calender was colored pink, a cupid lying on the top, with a "Valentine's Day" written in a silver cursive font. It's February 14th today.

It's been 7 years already huh.

I wonder how are they now...

_Do they miss me? Have they ever thought about me?_

Sighs... Why am I always this sappy when it comes to Valentine's day?

_Seriously though, who am I kidding? Why would they bother about me? One who never knew about my existence, and the other..._

I shook my head, and decided to get myself a cup of coffee before burying myself in the huge, no gigantic, pile of paper.

It's hard work, but I don't really mind. This company, although small, was the result of my blood and sweat. Not literally, but you get the point.

I guess... These 7 years, I had unconsciously numbed the pain by focusing all my time at work. Although the company flourished, and I've made quite a sum of money, I still feel unhappy.

_I wanna move on... But just why can't I?_

I shouldn't think about the past now... After all, they are just nothing but the past. I should move on.

_But why is it so hard?_

I shook my head. Valentine's Day is really driving me nuts. Just because so many things had happened on this one day, doesn't mean it should affect me!

Heaving a another sigh, I leaned against the chair.

I closed my eyes for a while.

Nothing.

I really should just go home and have a long, long sleep.

I packed my stuff and was about to leave, when I heard my name. Hey, who wouldn't pay attention when their name is mentioned?

"This is stupid! Why are we stuck here when it's Valentine's?" One of my employee complained. Well, I wouldn't blame her.

I was about to tell her that she could leave already, but her companion said something, "Hey, stop whining. What about Miss Yukihara huh? She's here practically the entire day, and is still working in her office."

"That's because she doesn't have a life! I mean, she's near 30, and she don't even have a boyfriend!"

A wave of sadness came, and suddenly, I feel tired altogether. It's not because I want to, I just... don't have the chance.

I leaned against the door. Why is life so cruel?

The door flew open and I nearly stumbled out. I quickly regained my composure and walked towards the two at their workspace. They looked embarrassed and shocked.

"Mi-Miss Yukihara." They bowed in unison. I shook my head. I never liked formalities.

"It's alright... If you wanna go just go. You can finish whatever work you left tomorrow." Their jaws dropped and nodded, muttering "thanks".

Hey, I am not a mean boss. I don't give them a hard time if they don't give me one.

I took my car and went back to my apartment.

I opened the door and like I left it in the morning, the whole apartment was cold and still. It had no signs of warmth at all.

Not that it would matter. I spend the day in the office, only coming home to sleep and rest.

_Since when have I became so... I don't know... Oblivious to my surroundings? How long more till I have the warmth and love I want?_

I left work early today and had not planned what I was gonna do.

Sleep? Too early.

Dinner? Too early.

So I did the one thing I had not expected myself to do.

I switched on the TV. It might be weird, but it's not like I actually spend a lot of time at home. I only sleep in this house. Nothing else...

Sure, my house is fully equipped with the furniture and stuff, but I hardly use them.

The TV was the least used of them all.

I plopped myself on the couch and started switching channels until one caught my eye.

"_I would just make this clear one last time. I don't and won't regret my actions. In fact, there's only one regret in my life."_

_With one last glance at the camera, the businessman walked towards the black Ferrari that was parked not far away. _

_Then, as though he remembered something, he glanced back at the camera, his ruby eyes filled with unfathomable emotions._

"_The greatest regret I ever had, was to let the love of my life leave me 7 years ago." A pause, "I couldn't locate and track her till this date but I won't stop trying." Another pause, "If anyone knows where she is, please, contact me."_

_The reporter flashed into view, "Well, that-_

I grabbed the remote and switched it off, before running straight for my room.

.

..

...

* * *

_**Owari.**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chap 2 is out! Guess whose POV this is on. :P  
****It's not really that hard to guess who was it the previous chapter, the name was obvious (:**

**Heh, anyway, this is a short chapter but the next one is waaaaay longer. **

**I hope the formatting isn't confusing to anyone, but if it is, please leave a review and I would try to change it.**

**Okay, RxR please! I hope to receive more comments on how to improve the story, as well as hear your opinion on the plot (;**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN GAKUEN ALICE AND ITS CHARACTERS.**

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Chap 2:

_de l'autre côté_

by  
**DefineL0v3**

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_.._

…

**[[ Present, 14****th**** February 2009 ]]**

"_If anyone knows where she is, please, contact me."_

I stare at the screen, exhausted, as a picture of someone familiar flashed onto the screen. My heart skipped a beat. Memories of the past came back, and I could not help but utter a silent cry.

_Where is she? Why won't she come back?_

My thoughts was interrupted when my door slammed open and Ruka and his wife came in. '_What a grand entrance huh.' _I thought bitterly.

I bet this is all about the comment I made this afternoon. I shouldn't have done that but I was desperate. I'd admit that.

_I miss her... I need her..._

Instead of screaming at me, like I expected, she gave me a pitying look. My face would probably not show anything, but inside, was a complete mess.

"No news..?" I whispered, hoping and praying for the answer I want to hear.

_Please..._

She shook her head and I nodded, looking away. At that point, I could not bear myself to hide any emotions...

"Don't... Don't worry. You have the whole Japan looking for her right now... She'll be found sooner than you think... Just... Just..." Her voice cracked and she broke off midway, and if Ruka wasn't there to hold her, she would have broke down as well.

_I have everything that I could possibly have. Everything but her. _

I was desperate. How could someone be missing for 7 years? No one knew who she is, no one knew where she is. No one...

.

..

.

..

**[[ About a week ago, 5****th**** February 2009 ]]**

"Any news?" My tone was hopeful.

The man in front of me knew about my plight.

He was the man, the agency I had hired for the past few years to look for her. They are reportedly the best in Japan, but was still unable to find her.

When they called me to come down, I skipped whatever meeting, whatever appointment I had that day and rushed down to the posh agency.

I walked in, but the people who had worked there longed enough to know me, knew I was scared but hopeful for the result.

I came here every 2 months for the past 6 and half months.

"I'm sorry... We couldn't locate her..."

"THEN WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STILL HERE? SHOULDN'T YOU BE LOOKING FOR HER? I DIDN'T PAY YOU TO SIT HERE AND TELL ME SHE CANNOT BE FOUND!" I slammed my fist on the table as angry tears threatened to spill.

I looked away, and calmed myself down.

Tsubasa nodded grimly. This happened every time I came in. Everyone practically was used to it already.

I knew he was about to say something else, and I stood there stiffly, waiting for what he was about to say.

"I found out that... The reason we could not find her all these years, not even the slightest hint of her whereabouts was because..." He trailed off, not knowing how to continue. Struggling to think of the right words to phrase the findings.

I motioned for him to continue. We were practically friends, knowing each other before he established his reputation.

_Both of us know her. He had regarded her as a younger sister, and her, an older brother. _

"The information... was... somehow classified. Protected. Someone was obviously buying the information, paying the informer to not leek out the information. It's... as though..."

"As though she doesn't want anyone to find her." I whispered. My heart had sunk to a whole new level.

.

..

...

_**Owari.**_

_**

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**PS: Have you read the latest chapter? Chap 139 was so OHEMGEE-ing!_


	3. Chapter 3

**Woooh! This took quite a while ;( ****But I'm glad I finished it. Hehe.**

**I was busy, plus sick, for quite a while. Competitions after competitions and my examination results. *faints***

**Haha, that aside, I hope you enjoy this chapter. It's rushed, and there might be many errors :( Sorry !**

**Please please please rxr ~!~! Your reviews make me write better and I would loooove to hear your opinion (:**

**Again, I do not own Gakuen Alice nor its character, and never will D;**

* * *

Chap 3:

_**chanced**_

by  
**DefineL0v3**

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_.._

…

**[[ Present, 15****h**** February 2009 ]]**

Mikan Yukihira slumped down in her seat. She was in her office, finishing whatever work she had left.

"_Another long day..."_ She sighed, yesterday's event playing back in her head.

She had run back into her room and cried herself to sleep, once again. Although as usual, she was woken up by nightmares in the middle of the night.

She was awake since four in the morning, doing work and keeping her mind off the stuff she deemed not worth her time, at least not anymore.

Her body was naturally weak and she always fall sick. She knew she was straining her body and she would eventually collapsed, but she hardly have a choice, does she?

She was abandoned. Not given a chance to feel love, the only was to numb her aching heart was to bury herself in work, momentarily forgetting whatever pain there is.

She couldn't actually remember when was the last time she was happy, when she had really laugh and smile. She couldn't remember when she had started pretending everything was okay, when they are actually not.

She spun her chair, facing the view behind her office.

The view showed most of Tokyo's buildings.

Her gaze traveled to the building in the middle.

"_When was the last time I stepped into that building?"_ She thought, her tears threatening to fall once again.

As if on cue, a knock on the door brought her back to the cold harsh reality. She shook her head, as if to clear her though, and waited for someone to come in.

Her secretary stepped in, a genuine smile on her face.

"Miss Yukihira, the new boss of our sister company is holding a party three days from now. Will you be attending?" She asked.

Mikan was about to shake her head but she realized that by not attending, it would be utter disrespect, even though she wasn't happy with the new boss.

_Unscrupulous businessmen._ Mikan claimed, but not going would mean losing a powerful ally, and she had no choice but to attend.

She sighed and nodded to her secretary, forcing yet another smile on her face.

She thought her secretary had left, but when she saw she was still standing there, she raised an eyebrow.

Her secretary, a plump woman in her mid 30s, told her, "I don't mean to butt in or anything... But I think it's a good chance for you to meet more people..."

She trailed off, unsure of what to say next. Mikan knew, of course, that her secretary meant well and this time, a genuine smile was on her face as she told her she understood and thank her.

Mikan sighed and stared at the invitation. _"Mandarin Orange, huh?"_ She thought. She had no idea where this company come about, and she doesn't have to. She was just going to be there for a while, maybe drinking some cocktails and talking to random people before leaving. Yeah, that was the plan.

Though honestly, she had no idea how the party would go. Her first party was a disaster and her last was none the better.

.

..

…

….

**[[ Mikan's flashback, 4****th**** November 1998 ]]**

Mikan was 17 that year and like any teenager, she was madly in love.

She was in love with the man in front of her, his arms around her waist and hers resting on his shoulder blade.

_They were imperfect, _people say. They choose to ignore them.

All they knew at that point of time was that they were madly in love. Each willing to sacrifice for each other, each was a support for the other.

_A bittersweet love story, a tale of a poor maid and a handsome heir._

Nothing could stop them then. It was them against the world.

They were happy just the way they are and nothing would stop them.

She spun around the dance floor, dancing with her beloved, her smile and laughter following her every step. His rare smile adorned on his face, admiration all over his face.

The music ended and the two bowed, mocked courtesy to each other before laughing it out.

The boy whispered something to Mikan and she nodded, and he walked towards his parents.

Mikan glanced nervously around the room, unsure of what to do.

She decided to grab a drink and walked towards a waitress.

Perhaps it was a moment of clumsiness, or perhaps it was the blond who had pushed her, but she had fell onto the waitress just as she was about to approach her. The drinks and tray fell on her, soaking her dress from her beloved husband.

Her commotion brought attention and she laughed nervously while standing up, the crowd laughing at her foolishness. She fled the room in a hurry, tears threatening to spill.

It was not the embarrassment that cause her to cry though.

It was the fact that her beloved fiance was there, kissing another girl.

.

..

…

….

**[[ Present, 15****h**** February 2009 ]]**

A single tear rolled down her cheek. Mikan quickly rubbed it away before anyone could notice.

_Why am I so stupid? How could I not notice it back then?_

She laughed a bitter laugh at the irony of her situation. The ball, plus yesterday's events, was affecting her so much that it brought back more painful memories.

Is she still in any state to attend the party? It was not like she had any choice, still.

She could just fake a illness.

However tempting that is, she remembered what her secretary had said. It was a chance for her to meet more people.

Who knows? She might even meet someone she could learn to love, someone who wouldn't mind her past, someone who could help her forget her painful past.

With the thought in mind, she left the office that day, planning to get herself a proper dress and planning to at least get to know a new friend on the day of the party.

After all, she have to look presentable and her closet is seriously in need of repair.

She hurried to a store she had once swore she would never go in.

She made herself tried on many different dresses. Black, blue, yellow, green and so on. However, she did not like any. Maybe, it was a wrong choice for her to come into the store and was about to leave when a dress caught her eye.

It was a dark brown dress that complimented her skin color. It was a modest halter-neck, reaching the knees and one sight brought her squirming.

She was excited, she realized.

_How long ago was it that she had loved to meet people?_

Pushing away the thought, she smiled as she paid for the dress. Expensive, but totally worth it.

.

..

…

….

**[[ 3 days later in the present, 18****h**** February 2009 ]]**

Mikan looked at her reflections in the mirror.

She was proud of herself.

Walking out of her house in a pair of five inch heels, she looked absolutely gorgeous.

She drove her car to the Mandarin Orange hotel.

As she stepped into the grand room, she did not know what to expect. Her name, once announced, brought many attention and many people approached her.

She was overwhelmed, but kept calm. She had not expected that much attention. Be it random guys coming forward to compliment her or business prospects, she kept it down, not wanting to gather too much attention.

She mingled with the crowd, laughing and chatting.

She felt a part of her old self surfacing, the same bubbly character that brought her many friends. She ignored it for once, deciding that maybe, just maybe, she deserves to have fun once in a while.

In the span of half an hour, she had met many people, exchanged contacts and getting more and more relaxed by the minute.

Was it her rueful past that had made her so relaxed, so belonged to this scene? Or was it just her character?

At this point of time, she didn't want to know, because, right now, she believe that finding out the answer would be to painful for her...

Hungry, she walked towards the table that was laid out with food of all kinds. Looking around, she spotted cakes, deserts, chocolate and... crab brains.

Crab Brains... immediately associate her with someone she knew... Someone from her past...

Without thinking, she uttered, "Hotaru..."

The lady beside her replied and turned around, "Yes...?"

.

..

...

_**Owari.**_


	4. Chapter 4

**HELLO! I'm back with chap 4 (:**

**How is the story progressing so far? I bet after this chapter, most of you would have a faint idea of what had happened. Well, partly.  
The full past of Mikan and Natsume isn't shown in this chapter, but I'm curious to know what you guys thought had happened o-o Heh.**

**So yeah, hope you guys like this chapter. Again, this was done when I am half asleep (but hey, I wanna update :P) so yeah, expect mistakes.  
Though, if anyone is interested to beta-read my story, I would be more than welcome (: **

** Anyway, please keep reviewing! **

**DISCLAIMER; I DO NOT OWN GAKUEN ALICE NOR ITS CHARACTERS (;**

* * *

Chap 4:

_**forever never**_

by  
**DefineL0v3less**

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_.._

…

**[[ Past, 11 May 2002 ]]**

"_Hello, may I speak to Mrs Mikan Hyuuga?"_

"Yes?" Mikan was sitting on her bed, _their_ bed, if he had even bothered to come home.

"_We have your result on the pregnancy test and the result prove to be negative..." _The caller trailed off, unsure of what to expect.

"Yes... Okay. Thank you."

Mikan slumped down in defeat. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all. She did not know what to expect in the future. She honestly have no plans, and right now, she was unsure if what she was doing is even right.

_She was a bottle of mixed feelings. Shocked, Relieved, Uncertain... Depressed...?_

Well, it's now or never.

She carried a brown bag, and another small luggage. Glancing at the photo frame she was holding, she smiled. A small smile. It was their wedding photo, and they were smiling.

_When was the last time we were this happy?_

It was barely over 2 years then. She had married Natsume and back then, she thought it was the best thing that ever happened to her. Now, even after what she had been through, it's the same. She never regretted marrying him because it was her choice.

_No use crying over split milk._

She choked a laugh, and tears fell. She cursed herself for crying. She had swore she would never cry again and she had broken her promise to herself. Wiping back tears, she opened the doors that held her captive for the past 2 years.

_The doors were her tickets to freedom. No more holding back..._

She left the house unnoticed and into the car that was already waiting at the back of the mansion.

_Maybe it was because her existence hardly even matters here. Maybe it was because her so-called "love of her life" was not the person she thought he was. Maybe it was because her marriage was nothing but a scam she was caught in... Maybe it was because she was no longer "Mrs Hyuuga", even though no one knew..._

.

..

…

….

**[[ Past, 18 July 2002 ]]**

"Are you sure?" A middle aged man asked the brunette that was sitting on the couch.

"Yeah. I double checked." Her hands covering her face. Right now, she was really confused and worried. She couldn't depend on her uncle forever!

The man moved and sat beside the brunette. He pulled her towards him, comforting her. He was unsure if what he was doing was right, after all, he wasn't that close to his niece yet. It would improve in time, he was sure of it.

One thing for sure, however, was that his niece was very fragile and very broken. The news of her carrying a baby, its father the heartless bastard who had hurt her... He wasn't sure how she would take the news.

He was unsure of how he should take the news either.

Hours later, he finally decided to ask the inevitable question.

"What are your plans?"

Mikan Sakura could only whimper and hope everything would be over. The pain was unbearable. '_Why do things keep happening?' _She thought.

.

..

…

….

**[[ Past, 21 July 2002 ]]**

Mikan Sakura was now officially known as Mikan Yukihira.

It was part of their plan for a better future. After everything is over, she would start her life anew. She would move on.

She would carry _their_ child. Gave birth to him.

Abortion is simply impossible, she wasn't heartless enough to kill her own child.

What was next, then?

She hoped it was a right decision. She had many choices, but she chose the one she believe would benefit all three of them. Herself, the baby and him.

She would send the child to _him._

She knew that she could not depend on her uncle her entire life. She needs to survive on her own and with the child, it was simply impossible to start everything from scratch. Heck, she herself was unsure if she would survive, what's more with a child?

She could just hope that Natsume would treat their child well, hoping that he would treat him better than he had treated her. She hoped that their child would have a better future with his father. A life without worry. Just being pampered and loved...

She believed that Natsume Hyuuga is not completely heartless.

She could only pray and hope she was right.

.

..

…

….

**[[ Past, 15 November 2002 ]]**

The brunette lay sleeping on the hospital bed. She was sleeping peacefully.

A man carrying a baby came in, he was playing with the baby. Glancing at the sleeping brunette, he played with the baby, slowly rocking him as he sat on a chair beside the bed. The baby smiled and made a soft laughter.

The brunette roused from her nap, and looked at the uncle.

"Is he...?" She asked. He nodded, still cradling the baby.

She motioned for him to pass her the baby.

_Raven hair and ruby red eyes. Just like his father. _

She hugged her child, wishing she would never had to let him go. She wished she could freeze time and stayed this way but she knew she couldn't.

She had to let him go eventually. She knew she could always change her mind and keep him, but what are the chances of her providing a good life for him? She sighed.

She couldn't and shouldn't keep the child with her. The child deserve a better life. Something she couldn't provide him.

Passing the baby back to her uncle, she took out a pen and a pad of paper. She stare at the now sleeping baby before writing her letter.

_Natsume,_

_How are you? Do you enjoy your freedom? _

_Natsume... Remember the time, back at our honeymoon, you told me you wanted a child? Our child?_

_I hope you do..._

_You're parents always wanted an heir but you only wanted a child... A child that belongs to us._

_At least... that's what I still believe... You... wouldn't lie to me about such a thing, right?_

_Please take care of our child._

_It's the last thing I hope you would do for me, for him. Please..._

_Take care of yourself and him..._

_Love,_

_Mikan._

Her tears stained the letter but nothing she do would stop them from falling.

She sniffed and folded the letter, passing it to her uncle who was staring sympathetically at her.

"Would it have been better if things were different?" He thought. He wanted to stop those tears. He wanted to go punch the jerk in the face, anything. Anything as long as it would stop those tears but he knew, he knew nothing would help ease the pain his niece was feeling. Nothing he could do would help stop those tears from falling.

She wouldn't look at her uncle nor the baby anymore. It would just lead to more tears. She wouldn't want that. No more tears.

She made herself lie down, forced herself to sleep as darkness gradually swallowed her, numbing her broken heart.

_Tomorrow, I'll be on my way to Canada, to begin my new life, to start anew..._

.

..

…

….

**[[ Present, 23 February 2009 ]]**

"And so, here I am..." Mikan sipped her coffee, waiting for the lavender-eyed woman opposite her to respond.

A moment of silence fell between them. It was neither awkward nor suffocating. It was just... silent. Both of them were deep in their thoughts.

"Do you know..." Hotaru Imai trailed off.

Mikan snapped back to her reality and motioned for her friend to continue when she realized what she had said.

Hotaru was unsure of how she should phrase her words. Truthfully, she should help Natsume, but after hearing Mikan's part of the story, she had no idea what to do now.

"Yes...?" Mikan had no idea what Hotaru was about to say, though she had a faint idea what, or specifically, who it is going to be about.

Hotaru looked up from her own cup of coffee. No point in hiding things from Mikan...

"Mikan. Luna seduced Natsume for his fortune." Hotaru looked at Mikan, hoping for a reaction.

"So...?" Mikan stared back at Hotaru. Her face showing nothing. Hotaru was shocked. Has seven years really changed Mikan that much?

"Mikan... What he did seven years ago..."

"Hotaru, please." Mikan cut in. Her face still refuse to show any emotion, though from her tone, Hotaru could tell she did not want to talk about what happened anymore.

_'Maybe it affected her that much...'_ Hotaru thought. Of course, no one could blame her after what she had been through. Mikan was the victim here. She shouldn't force it on her. Especially not when she isn't ready.

Another silence. Both of them were deep in their own thoughts, each thinking about what had previously happen.

"Natsume..." Mikan murmured. Hotaru looked at her, confusion showing on her face.

"How is he?"

"..." Hotaru had no answer to that question. He misses you? He wants you back? He is looking for you?

"He has been looking for you." There, she said it. Mikan's eyes widened in surprise for a brief moment before returning back to her stoic face immediately.

Hotaru's eyes is still as sharp as before.

"The... baby?" Mikan whispered the question. She was unsure of the answer but she knew she had to ask. She wasn't as heartless as to forget her own child for heaven's sake.

"We named him Ryuu. He's currently home schooled, he's pretty smart if I must say." Hotaru smiled. Ryuu is just like his mother. He asks a lot of questions and had many problems with homework, but unlike her, he tends to score well in his tests and exams. It's no surprise where his genes come from.

Mikan smiled. At least she made the right choice in sending Ryuu to his father. She would never be able to provide the best for him. This was enough reassurance for her. Truth be told, the only really why she had agreed to meet Hotaru today was only because of him.

She wanted to make sure the choice she made was right. She wanted to know Ryuu is happy.

Does she trust Hotaru?

She trust that she wouldn't lie to her about Ryuu.

She can only hope that Hotaru hadn't told Natsume about the meeting. Not that she doesn't trust her... but...

She left the house heartbroken seven years ago. She doesn't want to see him. She doesn't want to remember those days. She doesn't want to feel pain... to feel hurt whenever she think about them. She... doesn't want to believe in him anymore.

She doesn't believe in love anymore.

"Mikan...?"

"Yes?" She snapped her head up, shocked that she was suddenly brought out of her thoughts.

"I... I just... I just informed Natsume about our meeting. He...He's on his way here now with Ryuu..."

.

..

...

_**Owari.**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello! I am back with chap 5 (:**

**How are you guys doing? It's the hols here but I still have a heck load of competitions and homework :(  
But rest assured! I will continue to update as often as I could :D**

**So anyway, RxR please! Would love to read your reviews and your opinions of the story. They motivate me to write faster and better!**

**Oh, and I'm still looking for a beta reader. Just drop me a email and I will reply asap. Thankkiew!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice nor its character. **

* * *

Chap 5:

_**Imperfect Wishes**_

by  
**DefineL0v3less**

_._

_.._

…

**[[ Present, 23 February 2009 ]]**

Natsume glanced at the empty seat in front of Hotaru Imai.

Hotaru's hands covered her face.

Natsume didn't know how to describe the feeling he was currently feeling. Was it anger? Fury? Sadness?

Ryuu was holding his father's hand and dared not make a sound. He knew his father was very upset. He too, was disappointed. Earlier, his father had come home looking tired. Then, his phone rang and after a whispered conversation, he immediately brightened and told him they were going to meet his mother.

He had never seen his father looking so hopeful.

Now he just looked more crestfallen than ever.

Ryuu never met his mother. He only saw her in pictures his father kept around the house, including the gigantic wedding photo. They looked really contented and blissful back then, so why had his mother left?

It was a question he would never dare to ask his father nor anyone else. They always have the saddest expression whenever his mother was mentioned but no one told him why. Once, his father even screamed at him.

It was more than enough proof that it was a question Ryuu should never ask.

Ryuu felt his father's hand loosened and glanced at him. He sat down, slouched and tired. _He looked really vulnerable._ Ryuu realized. Even his aunt Hotaru, _who always looked proud, smart and successful_, looked no better.

Natsume gestured to the seat beside him and Ryuu sat down in silent, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.

After a moment of silent, Natsume spoke.

"She left…?" His voice was forced and throaty.

Hotaru looked up and nodded ever so slightly. It her fault wasn't it? Mikan had left because she had called Natsume.

She had mistaken the look in her eyes and her questions as wanting to see Natsume and Ryuu.

She had made a horrible mistake, like the one she made 7 years back.

Again, Mikan had said, _"It's alright… I'll see you next time…"_ and again, she would left and not be found.

Why was it so hard to atone for a mistake? If she had known what it would lead to, she would never have kept quiet. She would never have hurt her best friend. She would never have agreed to the plan. Never.

It was all too late now, isn't it?

.

..

…

….

**[[ Past, 14 February 1999 ]]**

Mikan Sakura isn't an idiot. She knew she was making a big mistake but like every other girl in love, she was blinded by it.

The past two months was a blur. She was so busy preparing for her wedding while he was busy with his work. Both of them hardly had time to sleep, let alone meet.

Finally, her hard work would be paid off. In a few hours, she would become the world's happiest bride. She would finally have the same last name as her darling Natsume.

She sighed dreamily, thinking about what would come tomorrow.

Natsume Hyuuga.

Soon, she would finally be able to see him after a month.

She knows early marriages wouldn't last, but she knew she could always depend on him and theirs would be an exception.

After all, he knew what she had been through.

She was orphaned as a child, left to fend for herself on the streets. If the Hyuuga family didn't bring her to their house, she might have died starving. As a maid working in the family, she was given special treatment - A room to herself, better meals, better pay and lesser work.

Though the bad thing was that every other servants working there hated her, despite her constantly trying to make friends. She was always friendly and smiling but deep down; she hoped that she would have more friends.

Natsume, Hotaru and Ruka were one of the very few. They had befriended her and treated her well. They provided her with their company and listens to her. They were her friends.

Natsume? He was more than a friend. He was the one who saved her from the harsh streets. He was the one who approached her, who was willing to accept her. He was also the one who persuaded his family to keep her.

Natsume was also the one who saved her the cruel robbers.

Natsume… Natsume was always there for her.

It wasn't a surprise when they confessed to each other. It wasn't a surprise that they got together, and tomorrow, they were going to be married to each other, to belong to each other.

Of course, being one of the richest families in the country, his family had a hard time accepting a maid as their daughter-in-law. After a few fights, Natsume somehow persuaded them to accept her.

Mikan could not be happier.

Nothing could rid her of her happiness, not even what happened last November. It was all a misunderstanding. They had just bumped into each other and it was nothing more than an embarrassing situation.

Mikan trusts Natsume with her life and nothing would change that.

Absolutely nothing.

.

..

…

….

**[[ Past, 11 March 1999 ]]**

Mikan practically collapsed on the bed in her room the moment she got in. Her husband chuckled at her exhausted form.

They had just got back from their honeymoon.

It was cut short, many thanks to his business and his parents were persuading them to end it earlier.

Mikan knew how much the business meant to them and agreed to come back earlier, despite being a little sad. The three and a half weeks in Hawaii were the best time of her life.

Natsume was the perfect husband, caring and considerate. He was meticulous and gentle.

She would wish they could stay there forever but it would be selfish of her. Natsume still have his parents, his sister and his business. She shouldn't be too overbearing and possessive.

This was what she believed would make a harmonious marriage. Her parents were the perfect example. They were kind to each other, trust each other and never doubt one another. They were happy throughout their marriage and Mikan hoped hers would be the same.

Natsume laid down on the bed and pulled her towards him. Planting a kiss on her forehead, he whispered, "Love, I'll be back by 6 alright?" She nodded, knowing that her husband has to go back to the company for work.

Sighing, he got off the bed and left the room while Mikan fell asleep.

.

..

…

….

**[[ Past, 22 January 2001 ]]**

Mikan was up waiting for him as usual and when she heard her, she rushed to the door only to be greeted by her drunk husband.

"Why are you drunk again?" She asked, concerned. Too much alcohol was bad for his health.

"None of your business, woman!" He pushed her onto the table and a glass jar fell onto the floor. A few of the shards cut her legs and hands but her concern was still on her drunken husband.

She quickly washed her hands and led her husband to their room. She knew he was going to have a heck of a hangover tomorrow and would probably be in a bad mood.

Once she settled her husband onto the bed, she went to get a wet cloth and placed it on his forehead and when she finally felt the pain on her leg, she left the room for the first aid kit.

Sighing, she cleaned and bandaged her wounds. After minutes of wincing, she finally cleared the stuff away and brought out her husband's work case and her handy notepad.

She looked through documents after documents, writing down mistakes, doubts she found in them on her notepad.

It was something she had been doing even before she had married Natsume. He always complained about all the mess his documents were in, about the stress in work so Mikan thought she could at least help make things better for him.

She started off writing out mistakes she found to doubts in the documents to mistakes in money calculations. Mikan had no business experience and was not taught much, but she attends courses in the day while Natsume was away at work. The courses weren't much, but it helped her helping Natsume.

She rubbed her eyes; it was already 3 in the morning. She was almost done. What was left was to sort them in order and placing them back in his work case, with her long note, and she would be able to go to sleep.

It was tiresome, but if it means helping her husband, she doesn't mind. She was used to it and it was a habit already. A habit her husband doesn't know and she planned on keeping it that way.

Her husband was prideful, and if he knew about the help she was giving, his ego would undoubtedly hit an edge and he would blow his top at her.

.

..

…

….

**[[ Past, 17 June 2001 ]]**

Mikan could not recognize her husband anymore.

Where was the caring, loving husband of hers?

The man in front of her was nothing like her husband. He was always drunk, always hitting her and was always criticizing her. The jokes and playful mocking were all gone and they became more and more serious as though he really meant it.

The sweet nothings, the kisses, the hugs faded. He would get up, do his morning routines and left the house. When he returned home, it was always late at night and he would either be very drunk or very bad tempered.

It was subtle at first, she remembered. He was in a bad mood and had slapped her, immediately apologizing once realized what he had done. For a while, he became a fraction of what he used to be but it did not last. He started getting drunk and violent.

He would apologize, kiss and love her, but that fades as well.

Now, he wouldn't even look at her. He would leave the house, muttering curses before slamming the door shut. The house was cold and was nothing like she had imagined.

She leaned against a wall, tired and exhausted. She dried her tears, her fingers tracing the bruises. She sighed and went to take a hot bath, hoping it would calm her down, and stop her from crying.

When she was done, she took out her husband's work case and begun her routine. She was tired and hurt. Natsume's voice rang in her ears.

"_You bitch! You… Marrying you was a big mistake! I should have never __gave up my life to you!"_

She took out her iPod and blasted music to the maximum volume. It doesn't matter how loud it was, or what song it was playing. As long as it does its job, which is to drown out reality, she was fine with it.

She numbed herself by doing work and when she was done, she went back to sleep. Sleep was by far the only time she was able to be peaceful. In her courses, she was so affected she was lagging behind and could not catch up. Her husband was not helping either.

Her husband… Unconsciously, she tugged the wedding ring in her finger and played with it. When had her life change so drastically? She could barely remember, just over three years ago, they were so happy together. They were so blissful.

They were so in love.

What had happened to that love?

She looked at her phone which was vibrating. It was a message from Hotaru.

"_Sorry Mikan, I have something on, won't be contactable till next week. Take care."_

Hotaru was the same case. Over the years, she had grown distant, busy with her own company and with Ruka.

She should be happy for her, of course, but sometime, she just wished she could spend more time with her and hear her out. The few time she and Hotaru actually sat down for a talk, it wasn't really useful nor fun.

She confided in Hotaru about everything, about her doubts and fears, but she always say that Natsume would never stop loving her, would never leave her and hurt her.

But what is this now?

She could hardly remember a time with her husband that she was happy, that she felt love, that she felt blissful, that she felt secure. When was the last time she felt any of these emotions?

When was the last time Natsume had said, "I love you", to her?

When was the last time Natsume had kissed her, or even hugged her?

_Just a hug, a few words to show that he cared. _

Was it really that much to ask for from a husband she loved so deeply?

.

..

...

_**Owari.**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey~ This is chap 6 !**

**I hope you like this chap (: This is a rather sad one, but I'll let you decide. The next chapter would be out pretty soon, so look out !**

**Still looking for a beta reader, anyone interested?**

**Anyway, RxR please! Your reviews motivate me to update faster :P**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice and its characters. (;**

* * *

Chap 6:

_**The Pained and The Lost**_

by  
**DefineL0v3less**

_._

_.._

…

**[[ Past, 23 June 2001 ]]**

It was 2 in the morning, Natsume fast asleep and Mikan sitting at a corner, working on his paper work on the coffee table.

Mikan didn't know why she bothered.

She looked through the documents when one brown envelope caught her eye.

"_Principal Registry of the Family Division"_

She stared at the 5 words, wondering why there was a court letter in his document. She didn't think much of it and placed it at a corner.

She started on one accounting file when she finally realized why there was such a document in his pile of work. She grabbed the already opened envelope and pulled out the paper inside.

Her eyes watered when she saw the two names she dreaded printed neatly on the paper.

"_Natsume Hyuuga" and "Mikan Sakura"_

She looked down and let out a small cry. Failed expectations of spouse? Irreconcilable differences?

Right below the document were the words "Natsume Hyuuga", completed with a signature.

Mikan's hands shook as she quickly placed the document inside the envelope. Was their relationship that beyond hope that Natsume had to get the divorce forms from the lawyers? She slumped backwards, leaning on the sofa. Her eyes were now red and her heart in smithereens.

She looked at the paperwork in front of her. Suddenly, she realized her efforts were in vain. Her husband does not need her. Her husband does not love her the way she love him.

She took out the paper from the envelope again and signed on the line right above her name. She proceeded to hide the envelope in a place she knows her husband would never find it.

She kept all the documents that she took out, not having any mood to do work anymore. Hopefully, her husband wasn't that dependent on the note or work she had done for him. Not that he himself would need or even notice the note and work she had done. He's far too capable.

Today, she would not bring herself to sleep beside the man she loved, the man whom she married. She got her keys and left the house.

Unsure of where to go, she drove around aimlessly.

Somehow, she ended up at a park near Sumire's apartment.

It was raining heavily and she cursed herself for forgetting her umbrella. She ran towards his house, hoping that Sumire was at home instead of at Koko's.

She ran towards her apartment, the rain soaking her in the process. Knocking on her door, she prayed that Sumire would let her stay.

Sumire was a very light sleeper, although she would be highly irritable. Five minutes later, the door opened and a very sleepy Sumire opened the door. She glanced at Mikan and immediately motioned her in.

Sumire wasn't an idiot. She knew something was wrong with Mikan and Natsume but she didn't expect things to be that bad. Mikan's eyes were red and she was drench from head to toe.

When she had finally settled Mikan down with a new set of clothing, both of them sat down on the bed. Silence fell between them till Sumire decided to break it.

"So… What happened?"

"I… I don't know…" Mikan whispered. She looked as though she was about to cry. Sumire did not know what to do, heck, it was the first time she saw Mikan like this. Usually she would run to Hotaru, so why is she here in the middle of the night?

"Sumire… Can… Can you…" Mikan trailed off.

"Yes?"

"Can you not tell Natsume I'm here?" She whispered. Sumire saw a single tear roll down her cheek and she finally realized how grave the situation is.

Sumire held Mikan's hand and assured her that she wouldn't. She motioned Mikan to sleep and to talk tomorrow.

When Mikan was finally asleep, she contemplated what to do.

On one hand, she had promised Mikan she wouldn't tell Natsume.

On the other hand, Natsume would probably be worried sick.

She decided that in the morning, she would call Hotaru and set things straight. Mikan didn't say she shouldn't call her, so why not?

Sumire woke up at 7 in the morning and proceeded to call Hotaru while Mikan was still soundly asleep.

Half an hour later, Hotaru and Ruka arrived at her doorstep, demanding to know what happened.

Apparently, Natsume didn't know his wife was missing or rather, noticed that his wife wasn't by his side when he woke up at 6.30am .

After explaining what happened, Hotaru and Ruka glanced at each other, uneasiness in their eyes. To Sumire, it was clear enough that something was terribly wrong.

She demanded to know what happened.

Of course, Hotaru and Ruka refused to say anything. It was only until Sumire threatened to not let them bring Mikan home that they budged.

"Natsume… married Mikan not because he loved her." Ruka stated, shocking Sumire. She motioned Ruka to continue.

"He… married her because his family demanded an heir."

"What? Does Mikan knows?"

"No. We couldn't tell her, and Natsume didn't want us to tell her."

"But… Natsume loved her right?"

"Actually, Natsume only regarded her as a very close friend." Hotaru stated. Sumire was shocked. Since when had Natsume become so… so…

"Yes. Natsume only married Mikan for an heir, and by producing an heir, he would be able to inherit his family's fortune or else, it would go to his cousins."

"But… But…"

"Natsume pretended that he truly did love Mikan. He eventually proposed to her and he planned for them to get married as soon as possible." Ruka said, ashamed of his own friend.

"So… everything was… a fake?" a choked whisper was heard.

Without thinking, Ruka uttered a "Yes".

It was followed by a loud thud.

Realizing that the voice wasn't Sumire's, Hotaru quickly turned around to see Mikan lying on the floor, unconscious.

_._

_.._

…

**[[ Past, 24 June 2001 ]]**

Natsume contemplated going to the hospital to visit his wife.

Apparently, his wife fainted in a conversation with Hotaru and Sumire.

He had no idea how serious her condition was.

He only knew she was hospitalised.

_Maybe, it isn't so serious._ He thought. _It could just be stress. _

He sighed and looked at the work he has left to finish.

His work was unusually messy and unorganized, filled with many mistakes that needed to be corrected.

He could visit her tomorrow or maybe by then, she would have already been discharged.

Shaking his head, he made a mental note to take some time off work to take care of her.

_._

_.._

…

**[[ Past, 27 June 2001 ]]**

"How are you feeling?" Sumire sat down beside Mikan.

Mikan gave a weak smile but said nothing.

"Look… I'm sure he have a reason for not visiting at all…" Sumire trailed off.

"It's okay…" Mikan croaked out. She looked away and tried to stop the tears from falling again.

"Mikan… Darling, look. Hotaru's going to come anytime soon and who knows, Natsume might be with her." Sumire attempted to comfort her.

"Sumire… Stop lying, please. If he had wanted to come, he would have come already."

"Mikan…"

"You and I both know very well that he doesn't love me. Why the hell would he come visit me?"

"Don't think of it that way. Maybe that was just what Hotaru thought. Maybe he did love you. You should wait for him to come and talk it through with him."

"Sumire, please. He doesn't love me, or maybe he did for a while. But if he even loved me for the slightest bit, he would have at least called or something. I didn't even hear from him!" Mikan threw her hands up in the air.

"He might have his reasons…"

"Reasons for not coming? Reasons for not coming home? Reasons for being drunk? Reasons for smelling like some whore's perfumes when he come home late every night?" Mikan yelled.

Sumire was silenced.

"Look, I appreciate you trying to comfort me and everything but really…" Mikan trailed off. Sumire was about to say something when Mikan cut in.

"I'm tired… Just let me sleep okay?"

Before Sumire could say no, she slipped under the covers, not wanting to hear anything more.

Moments later, she could hear Mikan's soft cries.

Sumire could only pity the poor girl.

_._

_.._

…

**[[ Past, 29 June 2001 ]]**

Mikan was discharged and surprisingly, Natsume came to fetch her.

He led her into the car and they were silent the entire way back to their house. Natsume tried to make her talk, but she gave only curt and short reply. He finally understood how she felt, always being ignored or given such replies. After a while, he gave up altogether.

When they reached the house, Mikan practically dashed to the guest room and went to sleep, not bothering staring a conversation with Natsume, like she usually did.

He did nothing but stare at her retreating back and finally the door slamming and then locked.

He knows he had hurt her when he lied… betrayed her when he married her for the inheritance.

He knew that she knew everything as well.

He slumped onto the sofa, unsure of what to do.

He fell asleep after promising himself that he would treat Mikan better.

He promised himself that he wouldn't go near Luna. At least not for a while.

.

..

…

_Owari._


	7. Chapter 7

**Boo! This is a relatively short chapter, but I hope you like it :)**

**Anyway, I am amazed that the previous chapter received so many reviews! It was a first for me :P**

**So, THANK YOU ALL VERY VERY MUCH ! This chapter is dedicated to the many people who reviewed :D**

**Keep reviewing!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice and it's characters but I do own the storyline.**

* * *

Chap 7:

_**Stuck with Each Other**_

by  
**DefineL0v3less**

_._

_.._

…

**[[ Past, 30 June 2001 ]]**

Natsume woke up with a heavy heart, panting hard.

He have work to do but after that nightmare…

He shook his head. No. He can't go to work. There's still Mikan…

Walking out of the room, he turned towards the guest room. The room was still locked and he knocked on the door, hoping that that Mikan would at least open the door.

He waited for a very long time and when he finally realized that she wasn't going to open the door, he sighed and proceeded to the kitchen.

He stared at the equipments and pondered what to cook for breakfast. Mikan was usually the one who cooks. Guilt overwhelm him as he realized he never eat the food Mikan spend hours cooking.

He shook his head. No… He shouldn't think so much.

He started cooking what he thought was Mikan's favourite food.

"Mikan… Please open the door." He pleaded. He didn't know why it had hurt so much when she had ignored him. He didn't know why it felt like a slap in the face when the door was slammed shut and then locked.

He received no reply again. He ignored the painful throbbing against his chest. He continued to knock but he never received a response.

This was harder than he thought.

He wrote a note then slipped it under the door. This was his last resort. He had no idea how to communicate with her.

She was completely ignoring him! What can a guy do?

He called out one last time before saying that he left a note.

That day, he went to work with a heavy heart. He was frustrated. He was annoyed. He was irritated.

_He was hurt by her actions._

He didn't know why he had all those emotions. He never really cared about how Mikan treats him, never really cared about her response and her feelings.

This time… Why have it made him feel so vulnerable? Why can't he stand the thought that she was ignoring him?

He stared at his blank computer screen. He was supposed to draft a business proposal today, but all he can think of was Mikan. _Is she alright? Have she eaten? What is she doing now? Have she taken her medicine?_

He texted her, pleading her to answer his call and to call him back.

He started to do work, but his phone rang. Thinking it was Mikan, he eagerly answered the phone.

"Hey babe!" A disgustingly sweet voice came through his phone. For the first time, he felt a wave of disgust hearing the voice.

"What do you want?" He didn't bother masking his frustration and disappointment.

"Can you come over today? I bought something new… and I thought you might like to see it on me, hon." Usually, Natsume would have agreed but today, he just felt revolted. A brunette flashed in his mind and he let out a sigh.

"Not interested." He answered, his tone more clipped and colder than usual.

"But darling! It's been so long since you came over! I missed you!"

"I said I'm not interested. Don't bother calling me again." He hung up the phone.

He called Mikan one more time but again, she didn't pick up. His heart ached.

Hours later, he returned home only to find that the food he cooked earlier were left untouched on the kitchen counter.

_She… didn't eat at all?_

He sat on the chair and ran his hand through his hair, unsure of what to do. He was feeling very unlike himself the whole day.

His mind started to wonder why she didn't bother to cook or reply him. One thought led to another and he started to panic, wondering if she was alright.

He knocked on the door, asking her to come out or to just say she was alright.

When there was no reply, he begun to really panic. He banged the door, demanding her to open.

Again there was no reply. He went to the master bedroom and ransacked the room for the spare key to the guest room. When he finally found it, he made a mad dash and opened the room.

Mikan was there alright. However, she was unusually pale. When he opened the door, he expected her to scream and shout at him. It would have made him felt a tiny bit better. Instead, she just glanced at him and looked away.

Mikan was sitting on the bed, her body leaned against a corner of the wall, her head turned towards the window and she gazed blankly at the view.

Natsume walked towards her, calling her name but there was no response from her. He walked forward and saw a photo album on her left. Realization dawned on him and he understood what had happened.

He crawled towards her on the bed and brought her to his arms. She just froze there, unmoving. His heart broke as he felt her tears on his shirt.

He held her tighter and whispered, "I'm sorry…" over and over again.

When her tears stopped and she calmed down, he brought her bathroom and asked her to bathe while he went to change and cook.

He cooked a simple meal, and she ate it without a single protest. When she was done, he motioned for her to eat her medicine.

She didn't protest at all. He felt relieved that she wasn't ignoring him anymore but still felt a bit hurt and unease.

He would be able to deal with an angry and screaming Mikan but a silent Mikan? This was the first time he had seen her like this and he felt a bit unsure of what he should do.

He knew though, the most important thing would be to help her recover, but what about after that?

He owed her too much.

When she was done with eating, Natsume asked her what she wanted to do. She shrugged and proceeded to move from the kitchen counter.

He followed her and they both ended up watching TV. He pulled her closer, scared that she would let go and afraid that she would break.

The tension was still there but it was much more relaxed.

When Mikan had fallen asleep, he carried her to the master bedroom and covered her with the blanket. She looked so peaceful, so at ease. It was totally unlike what she looked just now.

When Natsume had found her in the room, she looked lost, hopeless and broken. It was as though she had given up hope.

He shouldn't sleep beside her tonight. It would just kill everything, he realized. He glanced at her sleeping form again and could not help but went forth and gave her a chaste kiss on the forehead.

She stirred in her sleep and he was scared that he had waked her up. He quickly moved away but a hand grabbed him and a whisper from Mikan made him stayed, holding her in his arms. For once, he could sleep peacefully.

"_Don't go… I'm scared…"_

.

..

…

_**Cause it's too late, there's no escape**__**  
**__**Might as well face it, baby we're stuck with each other**_

_**-Shontelle**_

_._

_.._

…

**Owari.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey ! This chapter came out longer than I expected :/**

**Hehe, anyway, I hope you like this chapter! It's a much happier chapter :P  
And next chapter would focus more on Ryuu :D In fact, it's gonna be in his POV (; **

**Leave a comment/review please! I love to read your comments!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DONT OWN GAKUEN ALICE AND ITS CHARACTERS! i only own the story line (;**

* * *

Chap 8:

**_Through It All_**

by  
**DefineL0v3less**

_._

_.._

…

**[[ Present, 18 March 2009 ]]**

Mikan sat in her office, finishing what was left of her work.

Her usual self returned. Maybe it was because Valentines' was long over and she did not actually bother with Hotaru's calls.

Her past wasn't there to haunt her.

She leaned back and relaxed.

Today was undoubtedly a good day.

The door suddenly burst open and in came the one man she did not want to see. Her secretary was trailing behind and was apologetic.

His hair was messy, his clothes rumpled and his face was wan and tired.

Without warning, he moved towards her and attempted to pull her out of her office.

Mikan shrieked and stepped on his foot with her heels.

'_How dare he pull me out of the office without…!"_

"Look, I don't want to argue with you but if you are not going to the hospital with me, I'm going to haul you there, whether you like it or not." Natsume said.

"Hospital?" Mikan asked. _'Why the hospital of all places?' _She noticed her secretary was still standing at the door, confused and scared. She nodded at her and she quickly scrambled away.

At this, he just slumped down against the couch, his head on his knees.

Mikan did not know what to do. Should she ask him what was wrong?

"Ryuu… in the hospital." Came the much muffled voice.

"What happened?" Mikan started to get panicked. Ryuu is in the hospital?

"His asthma acted up again. He couldn't breathe and collapsed." Mikan made up her mind to at least visit him. If Natsume was here... the situation shouldn't be good.

"Let's go." Mikan picked up her bag from the chair and waited for him to realize what was happening. He nodded and they left the building.

Mikan couldn't care less what her colleague was saying. To her, gossips meant nothing compared to Ryuu. She followed Natsume into his car and they drove to the hospital.

On the ride, Mikan could not help but wonder why she had foolishly agreed to go with him. It was just asthma, right? Why the need to get so worked up? She contemplated asking for the exact situation, but chose to remain silent in the end.

"He wanted to see you," Natsume murmured. She cringed inwardly, hearing his gentle voice. After a moment of silence, she finally spoke up.

"When… When did you find me?" Mikan whispered.

"This morning. Tsubasa was the one who found you, though. Imai made him check up every single name on the guest list."

'_The party. I knew I shouldn't have went.'_

Mikan nodded and looked outside the window. Truthfully, she felt very uncomfortable. Sure, she is very worried about Ryuu, but what about Natsume? She doesn't really want to face him, not yet anyway.

She sighed.

Natsume glanced at the brunette beside him. She was fast asleep. His lips made a slight upward tug. He was happy to be able to see her again.

Truthfully though, he was surprised she would come so willingly with him.

He wouldn't be deterred otherwise. Ryuu was in a serious condition and Natsume promised him that he would be able to see his mother when he wakes up from his operation.

He glanced at the brunette once more. He promised himself, now that he found her, he would never let go. He would never let anyone ruin their relationship.

Their relationship was already very fragile. He had finally gained her trust and that lunatic of a woman had to ruin it.

What pained him was the fact that Mikan chose to believe her over him. He couldn't blame her, but wished that he had treated her better. He wished that he had loved her more. He wished that he had not let hurt her.

No one would ever step between them again. He would win her heart the right way. No more lies, no more secrets. This time, he's not going to take any chances.

Natsume stopped the car and gently woke the brunette up. He led her to Ryuu's room in the hospital. He gestured her to seat.

"Where's Ryuu?" Mikan asked when she saw the empty room.

"Operation." Natsume said as he sat on the couch opposite her.

When Natsume saw confusion in Mikan's eyes, he began to explain further. "During his check-up, they found fluid in his lungs, cause by bacteria infections. They are removing the fluids and hopefully, his asthma won't act up."

Mikan nodded. She got off the bed and sat on the couch, beside Natsume, when she realized something.

"He…He wants to see me?" She mumbled.

Natsume turned and looked at the guilty-faced brunette and nodded.

"He said… He wants to see his mother when he wakes up from the operation." His voice was more forced as he was unsure of what to expect.

Mikan's eyes widened at the revelation. Her son…doesn't hate her at all… All this years, she thought her son would grow up hating his mother for leaving him.

It was only when he felt arms around her waist that she realized she was crying.

"Shh…" If possible, she cried ever harder. All these years… She never expected her son to want to see her.

When she calmed down and moved away from Natsume, she looked away and apologized and Natsume could not help but felt a pang of hurt.

"How long more till the operation ends?"

"In about 15 minutes."

The conversation was stopped there as a comfortable silence enveloped them. Both were deep in their thoughts, both thinking about Ryuu.

The door opened and the staff pushed in another bed, this time with a sleeping boy on it. With some manoeuvring, they managed to put the sleeping boy onto the bed.

Mikan looked at the boy. As she had remembered, he have raven hair and bears a striking resemblance to Natsume. She sat beside the bed and held the boy's hand as she continued to look at the boy. Adoration clearly shown on her face.

Mikan realized that his features were more prominent.

"He has your smile."

She turned and looked at Natsume before quickly looking away again.

Before Natsume could say anything else, the sleeping boy woke up. He blinked when he saw a familiar brunette beside him.

He rubbed his eyes and squinted praying that his eyes wasn't playing a trick on him. When he realized that his mother was indeed sitting beside him, he tried and forced himself to seat up.

Only to moan in pain. Natsume smirked and helped him up while Mikan just looked worried.

Ryuu was literally bubbling with happiness when his mother moved forward and hugged him when he asked. His mother is here! In front of him!

Ever since young, he could not help but wish to see his mother, for his mother to love him. Now she is standing right in front of him!

Ryuu could no longer kept his excitement and happiness as he proceeded to bombard his mother with questions, asking her anything he could think off.

Natsume smiled at the sight of the mother and son.

He wistfully watched them, wondering if there would be a day when they would be able to be a complete family.

.

..

…

**[[ Present, 25 March 2009 ]]**

It has been a week since the operation and Ryuu could finally go home.

He was very happy, elated even. His mother is here, and they could finally have a complete family. He grinned at his mother who also smiled back.

Mikan, on the other hand, had an exhausting week.

She had to make time to visit Ryuu and had to finish her work. She had no time to go to her company building and had to finish her work at home. Often, she would have to find time to drop by to collect and drop off documents.

Halfway through the week, she finally gave in to Natsume's relentless persuading and agreed to stay at the mansion. She also agreed to stay there until Ryuu is healthy enough.

It was easier for her. The mansion was near the hospital, about 10 minutes only, and all she had to do was to tackle between the two places and occasionally her office which was half an hour away.

That being said, Mikan reluctantly moved in. She loved being with Ryuu. He was too adorable, too lovable and Mikan found herself being very attached to him.

Natsume was the complete opposite of Mikan. One could caught him beaming every now and then, and why wouldn't he?

Mikan was finally back with him and Ryuu.

He thought it was impossible but it was true.

He knew Mikan was back only for Ryuu's sake but he would try to change that. No, he _will_ change that. This time he would show her how much she meant to him, how much he love her.

This time, he would not let anything come in their way.

This time, he would not let her cry anymore.

This time, he would protect her heart.

_._

_.._

…

_**Owari.**_


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello! Sorry this chapter took like 1 month to update :O**

**I was really really held up by work and school -_- Seriously, homework during the holidays? That's just mean and sick of those teachers.**

**Anyway, this is a short chapter, but I assure you the next one would be waaaaay longer and out by 2 weeks later. Haha.**

**Okay, just kidding, it would probably be out by next week (:**

**Review please !**

* * *

FAQ (XP) :

1. **Why isn't Mikan in Canada? How did she meet Natsume, who is in Japan?**

_The next __chapter will probably answer the question, XP._

2. **I'm lost in the story, where and when did '…' happen?**

_Basically, this story jumps between the past and the present; I try to make one chapter wholly in either the past or the present to avoid any confusion. Also, do note that it's not in chronological order. Some of the date jumped to emphasize certain points. (: _

3. **What exactly happened? Are they gonna get together again?**

_Maybe? XP, not gonna spoil it for you guys! But I already planned out how I want the story to flow and had a few rough chapters done already._

* * *

Chap 9:

_**Commencement of the super-duper-awesome-ultimate Plan**_

by  
**DefineL0v3less**

_._

_.._

…

**[[ Present, 26 March 2009 ]]**

It's not like it meant anything when she decided to move in. As far as Mikan Yukihara was concerned, it was for the sake of her only son.

It's not like Natsume didn't know, of course he would, Ryuu was the only reason why she was so worked up, why she grudgingly agreed to move into their house.

She had barely talked to him, except when necessary. Natsume expected as much but it still hurts. Communications between the two proved to be difficult and Natsume found it ironic that it was usually him that starts the conversation and her with the curt reply that ends it.

In the past, it was the other way around. He knew now how Mikan always felt with his short and curt replies.

Mikan Sakura decided that it was the best in her interest that she stays distant to him. That way, he wouldn't be able to hurt her. Sometimes, it amazes her that she still feels guilty or hurt that he didn't even bother try to continue the conversation.

Of course, she didn't spend much time thinking about it, Ryuu is the more important person right now. After all, that was why she had moved in in the first place.

Two weeks have passed since the 'family' of three got together. At this point in time, the little boy that mattered the most to the two adults already realized the tension between them.

Ryuu isn't stupid. He knew how his mother left his father, heartbroken, but his mother didn't know it was all a plot by a 'bitch', as auntie Hotaru calls her, to get close to Natsume to steal their money.

Obviously, that slight incident was not the only cause. He managed to piece out parts of their past from the bits and pieces of conversations he had heard. Frankly, it wasn't hard to tell which conversation involves his mother. His father only showed extreme emotions when it comes to her.

Unlike most children his age, he craved family warmth, for a complete family.

So when he woke up after the operation to see a familiar brunette sitting by his bed, he felt as though he was dreaming. He doesn't want to make sure if it was reality. He was afraid it was all just a dream and would soon wake up from it.

After that, he was completely shocked that he had asked his mother to stay with them. He knew it would backfire and scare her away, but it was to his utter amazement (and happiness), that she didn't, and even agreed after much hesitation.

He decided that, after what happened, he should be the one that will pull those two together.

The tension between the two was… funny yet painful to look yet.

Ryuu would see his father gaze longingly at her and her mother blatantly ignoring it. Sometimes, after a really forced conversation, which was ended by his mother, he would soon find her angrily typing into her phone or slapping herself in a comical way.

That did not stop there.

He would find his father doing little things for his mother, like carrying her to the bed when she fell asleep in the car or on the table, or when he had rushed to her office almost immediately when her car broke down and need a ride, and he was definitely not in the way like he said. Once, he went all the way to some far place just because his mother had mused that their 'rock candy was nice'.

His mother was no better. She had somehow always managed to wake up at five in the morning to prepare some of his father's favourite food and claimed that the maid cooked it when he had obviously seen her sneak into the kitchen. He would catch her daydreaming, often sighing and muttering "Natsume this… Natsume that…".

Huh, and they said he was just an ignorant child.

Well, he's going to prove them wrong. Tonight he will plan the ultimate plan to bring those two idiots together.

Then, he would finally have his happy family.

Yup, he was sick of seeing those two idiots acting like love-sick teenagers moping around the house. Like seriously! They are already near their 30s!

"_Those two better prepare for the commencement of my super-duper- awesome-ultimate plan! Hah."_

They would never know what hit them.

.

..

...

_**Owari.**_


	10. Chapter 10

**OMG! I am late by one day! *slaps myself* ****I am so sorry this is late!**

**But but but! This chapter is way longer than the previous few, and it focus more on their past ^w^**

**Review please! They seemed to be getting lesser and lesser D= Please please please review? Please?**

Disclaimer (for the entire story): I do not own Gakuen Alice (; I do own the storyline, though.

* * *

Chap 10:

_**Trusts and Mistakes**_

by  
**DefineL0v3less**

_._

_.._

…

**[[ Past, 20 July 2001 ]]**

Natsume Hyuuga was never a patient man. He wasn't one to go comfort people. He wasn't one to go missing from work for nearly a month.

Natsume Hyuuga, however, is a responsible man.

He paid Hotaru Imai a huge sum of money to run his company until he mends his relationship with Mikan.

He stayed at home the entire three weeks, for once not bothering about his office and work. The reason why was very simple. He had been spending time with his wife, taking care of her and fixing their broken relationship.

Every single day, he would without fail prepare meals for her. He would bring her to places, sort of a date. He would rack his brain every night to surprise his wife. He would make sure she was happy.

People might believe that he was doing it for the sake of doing it, but no. He missed her usual cheery self. He wanted that Mikan back.

Natsume used to complain about how Mikan was too naggy, too overbearing. Though when the time comes whereby Mikan doesn't want to care anymore, he didn't know what to do. That sense of not knowing what to do, having no one to care for him… It kills him.

He had ended all ties with that Luna and he never felt proud of his decision.

She was a mistake that should never happen and all he could do right now was to make sure he made up for it.

Like all cliché stories, he realized how he can't stand not having her near him. He realized that all those time, he was taking her for granted. He took her love for him granted.

He never thinks about what Mikan felt, it was always him, him and only him.

Mikan hardly smiles anymore, and he knew it was because of him. Natsume wants to fix everything. Everything.

He wants her smiles; her hugs and those nights when she would huddle close towards him.

Natsume Hyuuga realized how much he had fallen in love with her, and he was determined to get her back.

.

..

…

**[[ P****ast, 23 August 2001 ]]**

It had been almost two months since Natsume stayed home from work.

Mikan didn't know if she should feel glad, or even delighted. Sure, her heart still hurts but these two months, Natsume had been nothing but tender and loving to her.

She wonders if it was all another lie but decided against it.

He was genuinely happy and concerned about her. She could feel it.

It was all different from their past relationship. Natsume was different. He was affectionate; he… made her feel as though he really loved her.

Natsume never did those things for her. Natsume never cared for her.

Mikan glance at the ring on her finger, twirling it around and around.

Maybe… She should give this relationship another chance.

After all, you have to chase after what you really want, right?

.

..

…

**[[ P****ast, 10 May 2002 ]]**

Almost half a year has passed, and Natsume had long returned to work.

Their roles were again the same as a few years back, though now, both of them were happy. They were madly in love and nothing could stop it.

Although they hadn't really let go of the past, they focussed more on the present, making the best out of everything with their beloved.

Mikan smiled as she lay the icing on the strawberry cake she baked.

She didn't know why, but she just felt like eating this as lunch with Natsume. He wanted to eat lunch with her, but had cancelled earlier this morning because of work and him having to meet with a client before that.

She suggested bringing lunch to his office for him and he finally gave in to his wife.

Mikan chuckled thinking about it, her husband was totally different. He gave in to her almost every single time and he never failed to surprise her and made her fell in love with him all over again.

She decided that nothing could ever go wrong.

With a hurried glance at the clock, she yelped and quickly placed it in a box and went to change.

Grinning broadly as she walked into Natsume's building, she took the lift to his office. She couldn't keep that goofy smile off her face, thinking of Natsume's reaction when he saw his favourite cake.

She knocked and went inside his office and dropped the cake at what she saw.

Fighting back tears, she ran away, not bothering to hear what Natsume have to say. To her, all she know was that in front of Natsume was a half naked Luna.

She never saw her husband trying to push her away, nor did she hear her husband yelling for her to stop to hear him. All that was in her head was that scene.

She ran and ran, back to their mansion.

Mikan ignored all the weird looks directed at her as she made her way there. When she did, she pulled out the document that she hidden nearly a year ago. The divorce document.

Surely it would still be of use. He had signed it and that was that.

Taking a pen, she scribbled a signature before making a few calls. She quickly washed her tears-stained face and packed her bags, taking what was only necessary.

This time, she would never forget her husband. Not after what he had done and definitely not after he had broken his promise to her for the countless times.

On the other hand, Natsume was panicking. Luna was threatening to spill some fake information to Mikan before hand and when she realized that it wouldn't work, she decided to entice him.

It worked for her.

Natsume was shouting for her to get away, while Mikan came in just to see her half dressed.

He cursed as he raced after Mikan, he knew she went back to the mansion.

Maybe the heavens were against them, or want to punish Natsume. He thought that by taking car, he would be faster than her reaching the mansion, where he would be able to explain to her.

In his hurry, he ran straight into the streetlight, unconscious and was sent to the hospital.

What greeted him two weeks later in his ward was the court-approved divorce letter.

.

..

…

**[[ P****ast, 15 November 2002 ]]**

Natsume focussed almost all of his time at work or finding Mikan.

He refused to accept the divorce letter, and he refused to accept the fact that he was no longer linked in any way to Mikan.

"_Mr Hyuuga?" _His secretary's soft voice spoke into his intercom.

"_Yes?"_

"_Your maids in the mansion called. They said it was very urgent and they had no idea what to do."_ Natsume raised his eyebrows. His maids were given strict instructions to never contact him, especially when he was at work. Unless it was something important, they knew that they would not be getting their next pay check from him if they called him.

"_Put them on the line."_

"_Yes sir."_

A beep.

"_Mr Hyuuga…?"_

"_It better be important."_His voice was cold.

"_Just fifteen minutes ago, we received a letter and a baby in a pram…"_

"_How is that important?" _He nearly lost his temper, until he heard what was next.

"_Sorry! I just though__t you want to know that the letter has Miss Mikan's handwriting on it!" _The maid flustered as Natsume's mind processed that information.

Without another thought, he closed his stuff and quickly told the maids to wait till he gets home.

He rushed home and read the letter. It was indeed written by Mikan. He wants to know what it was about and ripped the envelope.

When he was done, he looked at the baby. The baby let out a smile that reminded him of his mother. Carrying the baby, he made his way to his room where he shed tears, something he had never done since he was a child.

.

..

…

**[[ P****ast, 20 December 2003 ]]**

Mikan glanced at the report her uncle had sent over.

She didn't know how to react to it. Her heart was beating painfully against her chest.

So… He did love her? He didn't… betray her?

Mikan cried out. Her heart breaking into pieces once again.

She had overreacted. She had doubted him.

She… She had hurt him. She had left him.

She had let her fears overcome her again and she ruined it all. Ruined everything she could have with Natsume, with her baby boy.

Mikan could not bear to approach him even though she was already back from her one year study trip in Canada.

Every part of her ached, begged for her to go back to him, ask him for forgiveness, ask him to take her back.

She tried a few times, though whenever she was about to approach him, she just couldn't… face him.

Not after doubting his love for her and not after hurting both of them so much.

.

..

…

_**Owari.**_


	11. Chapter 11

**A relatively short chapter, again. I hope you like this chapter though :)**

**Next chapter would be out by Friday, I hope :P**

**Leave a review please! Reviews are getting lesser and lesser, and I'm wondering if people actually liked this story =X**

**-Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice.**

* * *

Chap 11:

_**Failed**__**?**_

by  
**DefineL0v3less**

_._

_.._

…

**[[ Present, 19 May 2009 ]]**

"Exactly how did we end up like this?" Natsume growled as he tried to loosen the ropes tying him and Mikan.

"Blame your son." Mikan replied back in the exact same tone as she too, struggled with the ropes.

"He's your son too, now stop moving. The rope's cutting into my skin."

"You're moving too!"

"Ugh. I will get him after this."

"Count me in."

"AHHHH"

"DAMN IT, STOP MOVING!"

"SAYS THE ONE WHO KEEPS SHIFTING!"

A loud crash.

"Hey, are you alright?"

"Hey!"

"Ugh… You're heavy…"

"Huh. I see a cutter. "

A couple of crashes later…

"FINALLY. OH THANK GOD."

"Tsk."

"OH SHUT UP, YOU WEREN'T THE ONE WHO BUMPED AGAINST THAT DAMNED TABLE."

"Whatever. I'm going out."

In case none of you figured out what happened, their beloved son had tied them together with a rope while they were sleeping, and snuck out.

No doubt, Hotaru and Ruka were involved in it. Heck, Mikan was willing to bet Sumire and the gang were in it too.

At Sumire's house, a group of five people hustled together as they stared at the computer screen.

"No fun! They didn't get together after all!" Ryuu threw his hand up in protest.

"No offense or anything, kiddo. But if Hotaru's plan wouldn't work, yours wouldn't either." Sumire snorted.

Hotaru who was silent the entire time, was smirking at the screen. Ruka sighed. He was pulled into this plan, against his wishes.

Sure, he wants Mikan and Natsume to get together and _live happily ever after _with all the rainbow and unicorns and all, but sometimes, he believed that it would have been better if things just go on their own way.

He nudged Hotaru with a questioning look on his face as he pointed back to the screen.

There in the screen, Natsume sat opposite Mikan.

They were talking, although they were too soft to be heard from the mic, they were talking.

Ruka and Hotaru just stared at the screen, while Sumire, Koko and Ryuu were off in the kitchen.

The talk grew more and more serious, and the tears on Mikan's face became visible in the screen.

Natsume stood up, unsure of what to do.

He was frustrated, unsure of what to do when he turned and finally noticed the camera. Cursing out loud, he went forth and adjusted the camera until the screen blurred out.

When he was sure that the camera was no longer recording, he sighed as he turned to face Mikan. She was still crying and when he finally calmed down, when he finally realized what he had to do, he went forward and hugged her.

He stood there until she stopped crying.

.

..

…

**[[ P****resent, 22 May 2009 ]]**

The previous few days have been nothing but a whirlwind. Mikan had been avoiding him, yet Natsume could not do anything about it.

One part of him wants to run to her, and held her like he used to.

The other told him to wait.

He needed to think, he needed to know.

He needed to time, he needed space.

Both of them, they need the time to separate their thoughts.

Everything was all blank, they were confused.

They had no idea what to do.

They had no idea what their future would be like.

They were lost.

.

..

…

**[[ P****resent, 27 May 2009 ]]**

Ryuu was frustrated. He had no idea what went wrong.

His parents were ignoring one another. It's as if they pretended each other didn't exist.

They used to be fine, what happened? They had gone from bad to worse.

Was he to blame?

Maybe he should had listened to uncle Ruka and let fate decided. Why should he intervene? Now they weren't even talking!

His parents would leave early in the morning for work, and only came back late in the evening.

He was alone at home again.

The house became cold, so dead. He didn't want to stay inside the house, he wanted to go out, but he couldn't.

Whenever he woke up, he would find the house empty. Each time he hoped that his parents would be there, just like always, but he always got his hopes shattered.

He blamed himself for everything that happened, and somehow, he wished things had turned out to be different.

He should have known that, after the plan had failed, he shouldn't continue on.

If he hadn't, maybe his family would still be intact.

If he hadn't, his parent's would be in a twisted way, together, still.

He had enough. He had thought that his mother was back and they could be a happy family again.

He had naively believed that everything would be fine.

He had believed that he would have a complete and happy family.

He had believed that the family he pined for would appear.

Why? Why had his hopes crashed? Why had his wish not come true? Was he a bad boy? Did he misbehave?

Why?

That day, he ran out of the house without telling anybody, into the heart of the city.

He ran and ran and ran, unaware of where he was doing.

He thought that maybe, just maybe, his parent would be together if he hadn't been there to interfere anymore.

He stopped and leaned against a wall, trying to catch his breath.

At around the same time, someone went forth and knocked him out before he could scream.

_**Owari.**_


End file.
